it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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