My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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