If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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