I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
