so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
