Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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