i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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