I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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