If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
