Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
