So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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