oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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