Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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