Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
