You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
