i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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