I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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