What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
