Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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