So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i love accidental penises.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
