.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
