i may or may not be watching the land before time
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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