Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Farmville is her only friend.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
