Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
