I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
