buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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