Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
