I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she pinky promised me she was 18
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
