Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
