Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
