i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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