Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
