is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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