i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
