Already got asked if we're dating
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
