On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
