I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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