You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
