Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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