i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
