I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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