If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
