Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
