you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
