i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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