We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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