Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize