on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
