So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
