he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Two words: blizzard sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
