nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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