Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
