You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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